Whatcha textin bout Willis?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
