idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
