At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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