i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
