I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
