i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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