well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My feet surprised me
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