The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
