hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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