Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
