I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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