...so i touched it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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