Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize