When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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