But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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