Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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