She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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