Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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