Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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