I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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