Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
