Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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