yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
