well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
