i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
