everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
