Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
