My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
