Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
