Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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