Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
