come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
