I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize