I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
