these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize