Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
