Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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