When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
