the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
