You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
