this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
