Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
