I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
