we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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