I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
BRING THE BAGELS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
