I want to walk on stilts...naked
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
