remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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