he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
