does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you will always have a special place in my vag
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can I color on your dick again?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
