So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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