Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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