It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
