"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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