i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you didnt know i had herpes?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
