when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
