i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize