yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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