Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
