don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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