And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
