do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
