The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize