If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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