this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
