just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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