what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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