Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just gargled with NyQuil
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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