so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
