And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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