apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
