i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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