why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We got so high we made milksteak
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
